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RPM Blog

The RPM Auto Wholesale Blog provides tips for buying and selling vehicles, humorous stories and narratives from the underbelly of the automotive industry.

Funny Things People Tell Us About Their Cars


Life serves up a steady stream of humor.  It's there for the taking if you look for it.  For the past 13 years, I have found a mixed bag oh humor in the thousands of emails and comments customers have sent me about their cars.  Most were looking for a way to put a positive spin on a bad situation, to make their vehicle sound more attractive.

I kept some of the best to share.

Getting Things Mixed Up

  • Radiator Leaks.  Need Thermalstat.
  • It needs a transmission, although the York converter was replaced 2 years ago.
  • Toga switch next to brake on driver's side to turn fan off & on.
  • Paint looks dull on hood.  Could be buffered out.
  • The front wheel suspenders need to be worked on.
  • Glove department missing a screw.
  • Small puncher hole in bumber where I bumped a eagles nose.
  • Wear in tear on driver seat.
  • Muffle looks to be loose.
  • The radiator light turns on.  We think there might be a leak in the gas tank.
  • I think I have a crack head.
  • Car runs great.  It only has a broken hang brake.
  • Car has had new brakes and tire rods.
  • Car still derivable.
  • Starts & runs great but grogs down at 15 mph.
  • Passenger doors a little hard to close due to backbone not being used too much.

It's a Great Car but......

  • Snapped the head off a bolt changing the thermostat....other than that no problems.
  • Sometimes it will skip out of gear and be in neutral......other than that it's a great car.
  • Exterior is great.......just needs paint.  Has paint to go with it.
  • Engine making loud knocking noise.  Needs new engine.  Everything else works fine.
  • Even though there is body damage, everything else is fine.
  • Good car.  Just needs fuel pump.
  • The car runs great.  It just needs a new 4x4 because of all the snow here.
  • The car is in great shape but I am tired of messing with it.  You have to jiggle the key a little to start it and now it has a crack in the intake gasket.
  • No longer holds all the car seats.  But it is still my favorite car.
  • This car is a one of a kind.  All body parts except roof are new.
  • Car was put up for winter with 4 new tires.  Snowstorm caused branch to fall on it 3 days after insurance was taken off.  Still a great car.
  • Car does run but due to motor, the antifreeze leaks and so does the oil.  But on the outside it looks like a gem.
  • The car runs...if you get a jump start.
  • The hood needs to be painted the same color as the rest of the car.  Other than that........
  • We had it for a couple months then the transmission went out.  Otherwise it's a great vehicle.
  • Car in great shape when you consider its age.
  • There was saltwater up to the dash and now it won't start but it still looks brand new.
  • Car in good shape..... except the front end is crumpled.  Will not start but rolls just fine.
  • Car is in great shape with AC and transmission.  Really a good car.  Obviously needs new engine, struts, tires and oil pump.
  • Car is in really good shape.  Just won't start now.
  • Everything works on the car perfectly.  Unfortunately the timing belt had to bust.
  • We had the air fixed and the radiator replaced.Then the domino effect caused the transmission to go out and now the engine won't crank.
  • Car is in excellent condition....except for the transmission.
  • Cadillac in great shape.  Just needs a motor.

It's not my fault....No, really

  • Car slid into a pole when there was an ice storm.
  • A deer jumped right in front of me and hit the front bumper and hood.
  • Car runs great.  Salvage title from previous owner.
  • Mother-in-law car.  Low miles, well kept. Insurance company branded the title but did the repairs right.
  • Don't have a title. Fiancé gave it to me.  But then he ended up in jail.
  • Car went to the car wash and hit the side lower board.
  • Car hydroplaned when it hit a puddle.  Now it needs a bunch of stuff.
  • Car got parked in a no parking zone then a garbage truck ran it down.
  • Car dealer said someone put bondo on the car and a magnet would fall off.  I don't know who would do that to a car.
  • Minor dings.  The car ran over the owner.
  • Fender dented from a hit and run accident when I was not in the vehicle.
  • The car was running great but then it overheated.

Automobiles as Anthropomorphized  Objects

  • You will fall in love with this car as soon as you drive it.  She will treat you right, as long as you are good to her.
  • This baby has tons of upgrades.  She's a sweetheart.
  • Great running car.  She has never let me down.
  • Had the car for 3 years.  She never gave me a problem.
  • She's been a good little car.  It's just that she's old now and ready to pass away.
  • This car is still due for payments every month.
  • Car is still in a loan relationship with the bank.
  • She looks really good for her age.
  • She needs a minor muffler repair.
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